Another Year Winds Down. We're Older! And Wiser?

Wouldn’t it be great if we actually did get wiser as we got older? However, I don’t experience that learning, or new insights or wisdom even, is an automatic function of life being lived and time passing. As far as I can tell from my own experience, learning and new insights need to be sifted out of day-to-day experiences much as early gold prospectors sifted grit and dirt for the bits of gold they craved.

I have often reflected about how extraordinary our lives, our organizations and our society would be if we had, as a natural human way of being, a craving to learn, to grow, to be a better version of ourselves, our organizations and our society as each year passes.

Yet some people seem to do just that – they grow in stature, in competencies and in wisdom as each year passes. I know people, not headliners mostly, just ordinary people who are clearly sifting life for its gold.  I meet them mostly through my work as an executive coach and consultant. I get to see them first as business people, people focused on making the part of the organization they are accountable for be more closely aligned with their vision and intentions.  But I also get to know them through the larger dimensions of their lives – as musicians, athletes, parents, hobbyists of all stripes, and members of their communities. In each aspect of their lives what I see are committed people striving – striving to make today a better version of all their yesterdays.

What do we know from observing these lifelong learners? What are they doing that works? Who are the being that works? Here are a few places to start the inquiry:

1. Reflection works – stopping every now and then to pause and take stock – where we are going, what are we up to, what are we striving for, what are we trying to make happen, who are we striving to be... That works! Lifelong learners are up to something much bigger than themselves and the pursuit of that something gives them who they need to be, and what they need to be acting on, and what they need to be producing
2. Observation works – being conscious about what is happening. It is so easy to operate out of habit, to be on automatic pilot. In that mode a lot goes by and we don't see it, for example.  
3. Lifelong learners are awake, aware, conscious and observant. That does that mean they don't have blind spots and miss things like the rest of us. The difference is they know they do and are constantly on the look out to discover what their blind spots are, and what they are not seeing. They use buddies, trusted friends, coaches, mentors, anyone who can help them be more awake and aware
4. Being non-judgmental works – stuff happens! However, labeling it good/bad, right/wrong, should be/shouldn't be and so on, or being upset with what happens doesn't work as a learning step. Invalidating ourselves does not work either. Further, it shifts our whole being from the excitement of creativity and self expression in the pursuit of the gold, even when stuff happens 
5. Discernment works – being able to sort out the gold from the grit really works. Scientist run experiments. In the process they have lots of failed experiments. The point of experimenting in the first place is to discover what works. By discerning what works we can now consciously and deliberately replicate it, we can show others what works – we have expanded our conscious competence [a nod to Maslow's stages of learning]. With hindsight we will also discover what did not work, what was missing that had it been in place we would have has a different outcome, or what was present and in the way we need to remove so as to have the outcomes we want 
6. Practices work – establishing practices makes becoming wiser as time passes much easier – for example, doing a regular after action review as part of a discipline to learn from experience.

It often puzzles me when I see great ideas, practices, and behaviors, working beautifully in one part of an organization and they are being ignored by another part of an organization. How come? Or when I see people afraid to try anything new in one part of an organization and in another part people are experimenting and innovating like crazy. How come?

The principle reason I speculate is that life long learners have developed a very empowering relationship with questioning, with not-knowing, with ignorance, with experimenting and failing – they are excited by exploring, experimenting and the discoveries they stumble on along the way. 

RFK distinguished those who settle for the status quo from those who are constantly in pursuit of new insights and wisdom this way, "There are those that look at things the way they are, and ask why? I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?"