Surface and Deal With Conflict – Please!

One of the myths we live with in the world of work is that conflict is undesirable. Worse, that conflict should be avoided, and that those people who are the instigators of conflict need to be dealt with – code for, shut up or removed.


The standard operating procedure is: be nice, get along, don't rock the boat, be loyal, be respectful and the many similar implicit and explicit elements that are part of most organizational cultures.  These cultural elements disempower people when they are faced with a conflict – whether it is with a policy, a practice or a person. 


Most people have no agreed on/shared way to deal with conflict except by being resigned about it, and so keep quiet; or be outspoken about it, and risk alienation from colleagues.


Here are some causes of workplace conflict:

The Conflict that gets built into audacious goals – an intentional function of strategy design.

Although seldom spoken explicitly, some workplace conflict is a necessary by-product of establishing big hairy audacious goals (BHAGs), of satisfying the demands of the marketplace, and creating opportunities for ambitious people. In pursuing of these ambitious goals there will always be the competition and conflict for finite resources – time, money and people. 

These conflicts, well managed, become the source of innovation and creativity on which a growing enterprise depends. Having intelligent committed people faced with a problem to be solved, with conflicting outcome criteria to be addressed as part of the solution, is a necessary design condition for breakthrough performance. Which means it is essential to have rigorous conflict resolution processes that are widely shared and frequently used. 

A by-product of missing process, practices, procedures or agreements.

Some sources of workplace conflict are a function of uncertainty or lack of clarity about processes, practices, procedures, accountabilities and authorities. These conflicts can be reduced, if not avoided altogether, by clarifying how things are designed to work.

They can also be reduced by doing regular after action reviews to surface “what’s not working” and “what’s missing”, which will help in surfacing potential conflicts, or catch them sufficiently early so that they can be handled easily.

This type of conflict is different from the “designed-in conflict” and, is best managed by eliminating the source of the conflict. It includes things like:

• Poor communication of: expectations, values, standards, decisions made, directions, policies
• Unclear accountabilities, roles, authorities, and responsibilities
• Poor hiring and on-boarding practices
• Gossip, undermining, rumor-mongering, uncommitted complaining, and negativity
• Mixed messages from leadership - their speaking and actions are misaligned

A function of friction in interpersonal relationships.

In any group of people working together there will be conflicts that are a function personal styles of relating. We say we value diversity, we say we want people who bring different work experiences and different ways of approaching challenges and yet, in practice, these differences are often the source of conflict as much as contribution.

Most organizations have not fully addressed the potential for conflict that can come from the simple fact that we are all different, with different life experiences, different priorities and different ways of seeing the world. Further, we have not been trained, for the most part, to see ourselves as others see us.

We deal with interpersonal conflicts in a variety of different ways, most of which sub-optimalize the possibility of individuals, teams and the enterprise. For example:

• We mostly avoid difficult people or contentious topics
• We withdraw at the first sign of conflict or tensions, I'm not going there
• We use our status and bluster and dominate – the various forms of bullying that people use to dominate others
• We surrender, we give in to the others point of view rather than run the risk of conflict, and are disempowered in the process.

So we need a shared process to surface and deal with conflict.

Some actions to take:

• Socialize that  conflicts are not bad and wrong and should be avoided
• Socialize that surfacing conflict does not violate any value or organizing principle. On the contrary, to know about, and not surface conflict is inconsistent with the organizing principle that conflict is not bad and wrong, and when resolved leads to innovation
• Socialize that conflict is a necessary starting condition for innovation
• Train everyone in using a methodology for surfacing and dealing with conflicts.

And remember, conflict is not bad or wrong AND should NOT be avoided – that will kill the possibility of breakthrough results and stifle collaboration and empowering relationships..