Who's Got Your Back, Who Can You Count On To Support You?

So Who Have You Got As Support, Who's Got Your Back?

Wherever you are in the organization, whether you are the CEO or an individual contributor, if you are going to get anything done – anything of any consequence that is, you have got to have people around you who are up to the same things you are, so you have the experience of a common purpose being worked on by everyone. 

Realizing a mission is a group activity. So it is important to be surrounded by people who share the mission, who share the values, who share explicit and implicit agreements, and who look out for each other, who support each other.

Warren Buffet is quoted as saying, "I won't work with anyone I don't like, trust and admire". He is in a fortunate position, he can hand pick who he gets to work with. Not so for most of us. What we can do though, is be the kind of person that others will like/respect, trust and admire. The kind of person others will be open to supporting and collaborating with. What makes great organizations great is this shared sense of being up to something important. 

Most People Are Not Mind Readers, Which Means...

We need to let people know what we are up to. We need to share our commitments and passions. And, we need to speak in a way that generates the kind of action and support that we want. Make requests of others and get explicit agreements or promises. Ask for what you want, the worst that will happen is people will tell you they can't help you – and most likely, they will direct you to someone who can.

We Don't Succeed At Realizing Our Plans, Goals or Resolutions Because...

1. We were not really committed to the goal in the first place. Maybe it was more of a should. Like I should loose weight, should go the the gym regularly, should reorganize my office, should do more customer visits...
2. We didn't make space for the actions we needed to take. Most of us have full days already with lots of activities, routines, habits, and existing commitments. So new goals require changes to the way we do things. What do we stop doing? What new practice do we put in place? What support do we need to help us stay on track. If we don't sort that out early on, new goals and intentions will get buried in the day-to-day busyness.
3. We stop paying attention to how we are doing – we forget the existence of the goal/intention.  For example, I notice I am not doing well on two of my goals. One of which is to write more regularly, more specifically, to establish a daily practice of writing for at least an hour a day. Several days have passed and... yes, no writing.
4. We don't use the missed milestones, or failures (if that word doesn't intimidate you) to do what you said you would as opportunities to check in: Is this something I really want to do? (#1), if no, then drop it (there may be consequences),  if yes, then adjust schedules and routines so they reflect your intentions.
5. We forget to pay attention to progress, to successes, no matter how small. We have to have the sense of progress. Anyone who has been stuck in traffic that isn't moving knows how frustrating that is. Starting to move, even at 5 mph feels like progress. So create scorecards, milestones, any way that works for you that indicate progress, or lack of it.
6. We attempt to go it alone, we don't share our intentions, we don't enroll others to support us, so create some kind of buddy system, a person, or a group of people, who you can rely on to be a support: as thinking partners, a shoulder to cry on, someone to check in on you to see how you are doing, someone to remind you why your goal or intention is important to you. 
7. We don't celebrate successes. It is hard to celebrate success is we don't even notice them (#5). Noticing progress and celebrating it is the most powerful way to reinforce new behaviors. The more we reinforce them the more they will stick.